Musical Theater

Way Off Broadway Off Kilter CD Cover

Ecstatic Emergencies
My CalArts Thesis
Read Script with MP3 Audio


Howard Phillips Automated Phone Center

Howard Phillips Party – Answering Service Phone Tree (Real Audio): (MP3)

At The Gun Show

At the Gun Show (MP3)

A Baby Is A Wonderful Thing

A Baby Is A Wonderful Thing (MP3)


Milkshake (MP3)
Milkshake (Real Video)

Medium Rare
Music by Arthur Kegerreis
Book and Lyrics by Mitch Glaser
Story by Arthur Kegerreis and Mitch Glaser

Read the script has the entire recorded play, including all dialogue sections. This was performed at the Lehman Engel Musical Theatre Workshop in Glendale, CA, in June 2000. The actors were working under equity wavers, so I won’t credit them, because they didn’t allow us to videotape the performance. To their credit, I really think they learned a tremendous amount of material in a very short amount of time and did quite a good job with it.

Opening Dialogue

Opening Dialogue
In the opening scene of Medium Rare, the Medium prepares for his visitors.

Bad Boys

Bad Boys
Nadine sings of her love for Bad Boys. Sam tries to convince her of the value of Nice Guys.

Dialogue 2

Dialogue 2
Henry and Eunice join Sam and Nadine in the Medium’s lobby.

Medium Rare

Medium Rare
The Medium enters the room and sings a song describing the feats he can accomplish. The accompaniment skips like a scratched LP.

Dialogue 3

Dialogue 3
The Medium asks what Sam and Nadine hope for him to do for them. He begins a seance.

Invocation Every Mothers Son

Invocation / Every Mother’s Son
The Medium channels the spirit of Sam’s dead mother who is really still alive in Peoria.

Dialogue 4

Dialogue 4
The medium asks Henry and Eunice what they have come for. They agree to use creative visualization to reignite the flames of passion in their marriage.


The Medium has Henry and Eunice visualize each other as delicacies in a Banquet and things heat up.

Dialogue 5

Dialogue 5
The Medium asks to get paid and some suprises develop.

For The First Time All Over Again

For the First Time All Over Again
The couples sing of their rediscovered relationships with each other.
The finale.

Merrily We Go To Hell
A new spin on the Faust story.
Presented at the 1999 CalArts New Works Festival in the Coffee House Theater
Book and Lyrics by R.M. Weiner
Music by Arthur Kegerreis
Pianist: Brent Crayon
Director: Lisa Teichner
Allain Rochel: Roach
Jake Harold: Yum Yum
Alan Loyaza: Lucifer
Dana Vasquez-Eberhardt: Dancer

Merrily We Go To Hell Performance
Merrily We Go To Hell – The Yum-Yum Song

Lehman Engel Musical Theatre Workshop
Class Assigments

I Wanna Go To France

I Wanna Go To France
This Klezmer song was written for one of the final scenes in Neil
Simon’s “Brighton Beach Memoirs.” In this scene, the boy’s brother
has given him a postcard of a naked woman from France. He is in his
room, admiring the card, before being called downstairs to Dinner by
his mom. The music also reflects his obsession with baseball.

Lyrics by Meredith Stiehm
Music by Arthur Kegerreis

I wanna go to France
where the naked ladies dance
and a kid has a real chance
of touching his first panties…oh!

I wanna be eighteen
call my best girl Jelly Bean
after shakes at Dairy Queen
we end up in the back seat…oh!

And magically I’m on the town
with a French gal stripping down
She winks and calls me her Monsieur
Shall I pose for you in fur?
or in bubbles or in foam?
As my hand begins to roam…

(back to reality)

I’m just a stupid kid
if I’m smart I’ll keep this hid
If Pop knew he’d blow his lid
and now that I consider it…


My brother’s always said
after girls your childhood’s dead
no more pitching marvel Red
throw out your bat and ball kid…



(His mom calls him for dinner again. To the postcard:)

Excuse me Ma’am
I gotta go.

(He tucks the card away.)

Menage a Trois

Menage a Trois

This song was written for the play “Sylvia” by A.R. Gurney. In it,
Greg, the husband, falls in love with a dog he brings home from the
park. His wife is jealous because he’s ignoring her. He calls the dog,
“sweetheart” as he exits, and she begins the song.

Lyrics by Bill Hawkes, who passed away Dec. 1999.
Music by Arthur Kegerreis.

I know all about male menopause;
I know about the seven year itch.
But Greg has quite a different cause–
He’s fallen for this canine bitch.

A crazy fling that will not last;
That’s what my friends all say.
A poodle yet–of course she’s French.
I tell her–please, you cannot stay!
She only laughs and says “pourquoi?”
That’s our menage a trois!

We take her to a restaurant;
She won’t stay home alone.
We bring along her Alpo can.
We even bring along her bone.
She orders pate de foie gras.
That’s our menage a trois.

I love you, says he to her, you’re so beautiful–
You have the cutest buns.
Then she smiles with that absurd aplomb.
The last time he said that to me–
I think it was our senior prom.

Her nails are done; her hair is groomed.
She has her eye on mink.
She wants her own wide screen TV.
She takes her showers in the sink.
Says now she’d like to wear my bras!
This damned menage a trois!

First rule–no sleeping on the couch.
You do and it’s the pound.
By morning she’s in bed with us!
That’s it–choose me or choose the hound!
Greg says (spoken?) — “It’s nothing, dear–a mere faux pas.”
Faux pas, you say, and blah blah blah!
Farewell, menage a trois!
Farewell, menage a trois!